Say “uncle” and hold on tight.

One could say it’s never time to say “uncle” when it comes to letting go of the memories of two iconic Rumson-Fair Haven Regional High School (RFH) teachers/coaches. And it’s really not a problem — never relenting on remembrance. No reason to let such good go, right?

Saying “uncle” often literally had the opposite of the surrender effect for one Sea Bright-raised girl when it comes to her vise-gripping good memories of the now-gone RFH coaches/teachers Hal Lorme and Tom Botti, who taught her and many others well. That girl is Fran Rooney Raffetto and she’s called Lorme and Botti, family to her, “uncle” her entire life. And she’s not giving up that or the memories.

Her parents’ close relationship with the two and their spouses made Raffetto an adopted RFHer and niece, one could say, with enough of Lorme- and Botti-inspired RFH memories to last a lifetime and plenty to pass on to future generations. And she’s always been more than happy to share.

Legacy and love of the RFH teachers/coaches and their de-facto family ties in mind, Raffetto decided that now is that never-too-late time to bring people together who loved and admired her aunts and uncles and share the love by honoring their spirits in a special mass for the foursome years after their deaths on Saturday at 5 p.m. at Holy Cross Church in Rumson.

“I thought the memorial mass would be a nice way to see the Lorme and Botti family and give people a chance to honor and remember them,” Raffetto said. “(We need to) keep their memory alive. We frequented the RFH games throughout my childhood. I was so fortunate to have such wonderful people in my life.” 

The family-by-choice tie? Well, the Lormes were her godparents, so saying “uncle” — and “aunt” — to them was a real thing. The Bottis were best friends of her parents, who were Sea Bright icons in their own right, Charlie and Frances Rooney. Charlie was mayor at one time and, well, Frances is none other than Mrs. Rooney of Mrs. Rooney’s Hot Dog Stand fame for half a century. The two and their wives have taught Raffetto well, and she didn’t even have to be taught or coached by them in the traditional RFH sense.

Teachers. Coaches. It’s a pretty sure bet that most have had at least one, the other or both who mentored or taught them a lesson or a thousand in or out of the classroom in their youth. Botti and Lorme were two who embodied that.

Sometimes those lessons, or even a word or a few at just that right moment in our youth change us forever. Unforgettable. That’s what some are. And it’s pretty safe to say that besides Lorme and Botti, there’s an RFH teacher or a few that made that sort of lasting impact on many an RFH student’s life — and then some … even outside of the RFH campus.

And outside of the RFH halls and fields, there were some, like Raffetto, who got to call those teachers and coaches family.

“We spent so many wonderful times together over so many years,” Raffetto said.  “One of many great memories was going to cheer on the RFH Bulldogs when my Uncle Hal and Mr. Botti where coaches!  It was incredible!” 

And the now-92 Mrs. Rooney, over the bridge in RFHers’ adopted beach and party hometown of Sea Bright, is family to RFH students, too. In fact, her photo made it on the inside cover of one of the RFH yearbooks, a de facto auntie.

So, a Bulldog cheer to saying “uncle” for the right familial reason and never letting go of the good memories!

Raffetto asks that all who would like to honor and remember the Hal and Joan Lorme (who passed away on Feb. 15, 2015 and Jan 21, 2020, respectively) and Tom and Vivian Botti (who passed away on July 6 and Oct. 14, 2016, respectively) join her, her family and theirs at Holy Cross on Saturday.

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