Category Archives: Opinion

Editorials, letters to the editor and other articles reflecting on iconic people, places and traditions related to them in the area.

Old News: Stokes Law, Order & Grub

This reprise was originally published on June 9, 2022 in honor of the usual end of May to early June Stokes trip. History has taken a turn and those sixth graders, still going to Stokes, are now going at the end of September. Here’s to looking back on the Stokes experience and how it was written about by former longtime Fair Havenite, Stokes parent and Red Bank Register editor, Art Kamin. Indulge in our experience of the Stokes past when it was a relatively new tradition …

When it comes to Fair Haven kids tripping to Stokes State Forest in the sixth grade, old news is always good news and mess hall time means bug juice and Sloppy Joes. And in 1974, it also meant the long arm of the Fair Haven law was cooking up the grub and keeping the kids in line … up.

Yes, back all those decades ago, one of the Stokes helpers was Louis DeVito, eventual police chief, but then lieutenant on the force. We know Bill Lang was in the kitchen cooking up some mischief and goulash, too. Stokes even made the paper back then. That’s because the editor of The Daily Register was Fair Havenite Art Kamin. His daughter, Brooke, was on that trip. So was he. Back then, such things were still newsworthy — the real sort of community journalism brand.

Besides, he thought Stokes was quite the height of hands-on outdoor educational experiences, so he wrote what he knew in a column about it in 1974 when he was there with Brooke’s class. And he knew way back then that Stokes would always be talked about. He was right.

“They’re still talking about Stokes here,” his lede said. “The memory, it seems, will linger on for month after month and year after year. It will transfer from class to class.” Right again. It’s 48 years later and it’s still something to talk about. The lingering? Well, Stokes is its own good ghost.

Kamin had also tripped to Stokes with his son, Blair, in 1969. For the article he did in ’74, though, Fair Havenites John (Jack) and Steve Croft took the photos. Yes, Fair Haven had its own little family of journalists. It still does. Ahem. And, this one is still talking about it.

We’ll get back to Kamin’s own Stokes parent experience at some point, like his misadventure doing the compass thing with the Pathfinder class and getting a gaggle of goofy sixth graders lost. That tidbit somehow didn’t make the column. Everyone did hear about it, though, from the lost kids, who just thought it was a great adventure — even though they were late for dinner.

Hey, Kamin had a way with words, not direction for sure. There was also a time when he drove a group of Girl Scouts to Camp Sacajawea and didn’t make it there until after nightfall. A bunch of giddy girls waiting thought that group had gotten abducted by aliens. They made up fireside stories about it to go with their before-lanterns-out S’mores. Then the leaders remembered Kamin was driving. And, hey, to be fair, let’s not forget that there were no GPS gadgets back then — just compasses, maps and bifocals.

If he were still alive, he’d be emailing me with an editorial note, for sure, probably about something innocuous like “Pathfinder wasn’t the actual name of the class, Elaine.” He knew the truth and may try to argue some of my semantics or proper names, but couldn’t deny a factual report from the most reliable of sources — a bunch of very frank sixth graders.

But we digress … back to those kids being late for dinner with a full plate of angst, giggles and anticipation. There was a long arm of the law in the kitchen, order outside of the mess hall — with the raising of the hands of the gathered to shut their yaps, stand at attention and get in line — and some popular grub being served up inside.

That grub, or a favorite of the kids’ anyway, was good ol’ Sloppy Joes — giant vats of it. Do kids these days even know what that is? It’s a mess of hamburger, some sort of tomato sauce and seasonings slopped onto a soft bun. No one really knows who Joe was, but the thing was very sloppy. To accompany the Joes, there was what we called bug juice. That would be Kool Aid — the green dye number 5 kind. And it was laced with what our parents thought was the healthy alternative of cancer-causing saccharine. Who remembers that? Oh, we clamored for the bad-for-you bug juice and the green tongue it gave us. Slurp.

Hey, this was the era of the frozen Swanson TV dinner being a very cool luxury. So, yes, Sloppy Joes were gourmet. There are faint memories of some fruit being served. Maybe. The Hamburger Helper variety of food and goulash were mostly what stood out, though. With Bill Lang commandeering the ’70s foodie menu, though, we know there was also some spaghetti and meatballs at some point. And the kids clamored for all it, putting Joe first on the popularity list, of course.

From the looks of the Stokes mess hall doings of more recent years, though, it seems as though meals have gone a healthier route. But, who knows, in another 50 years, the mess may be a neat pile of proper nutrition pills — at the Mars Stokes.

Still, there will probably be a Fair Haven on Mars for the Mars Stokes experience in another 50 years from now. After all, this kind of community experience is the kind that binds and transcends time and even galaxies. What became the Stokes tradition began in 1967. That was, indeed, a at least a couple of lifetimes ago — 55 years, to be exact.

As Kamin said, “Stokes in this municipality only means Stokes Forest in northern New Jersey.” Still true. “And Stokes Forest, to seven years of sixth graders, means much more than what has become a nationally recognized environmental project.”

Much more, indeed. For instance, the greatest of lessons learned from the Stokes experience, as described by Kamin, are “developed” rather than immediate. “Time has a way of making the Stokes experience more meaningful,” he said. Right again. They’re still talking about it, writing about it.

Why more meaningful with time? Well, it all goes back to the community family ideal. And ideal is what it was and is in Fair Haven. “After all, Stokes is a community effort and the 130 sixth graders who take part in it sense this early,” Kamin said. Yes, they do. And, for generations, it gives them something to talk about, to write about, to emulate.

Speaking of emulation … I will, with full humor, interject my own editorial note to Kamin that he couldn’t argue — and certainly can’t email about. He said that all the kids were 12. Not all, Art, including your son, Blair, who had turned 12 that summer of ’69. The copy editor missed that one. Some of those sixth graders had summer birthdays. I know. I share that summer birthday and some kid birthdays with Blair and the Kamins. Bobbing for apples comes to mind. Hmmmm. Just had to slip that note in. But, back to the community thing — as if it ever really veered.

This Fair Haven kid was a sixth grader at Stokes in 1972, and, again, in 1978 as an RFH camp counselor, dubbed CAT. We haven’t made it to the Stokes on Mars yet, but the “more meaningful” notion is ever evolving and expanding, starting with the mess hall mindset and bringing it all neatly back to community with a word spill. While most may have never gulped bug juice again, it will never be plain ol’ Kool Aid again, either.

And I’d bet just about every Fair Haven kid who ate in the Stokes mess hall has a hankering for Sloppy Joes or goulash to ease homesick pangs. And when the long arm of the law reaches out, some will remember the ladle at the end of the arm serving up the slop in the ’70s.

Now, raise your hand if you want to get back into that mess hall to gobble up a plate of community as it should be. I have a hankering. That would be Stokes Mars 2072 for me. Aha! Still ’72. See? They say that we come back to what our soul loves. See you at the Stokes Mars mess hall, kids. My hand is raised.

Old News: A Royal Red Bank Procession

King George VI and Queen Elizabeth visited Red Bank, arriving at the train station, in 1939
Photo/courtesy of Karen Allas

It was a parade fit for royalty — the king and queen of England kind of royalty, to be exact.

With the death of Queen Elizabeth II and all the honor and ceremony that has come with it, retro minds go back to a royal day in Red Bank when the queen, who just recently died at 96, having ruled for 70 years, was only 13. Her father, George VI, was king. Her mother, the first Elizabeth, was queen. And while visiting the United States and Canada, the royal couple made a stop in Red Bank.

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Retro Back-to-School Neighborhood Line-Up

First day of kindergarten in Fair Haven 1965
Photo/Sally Van Develde

A back-to-school reprise dedicated to everyone’s first friend on that first day of school as a kindergartener. My first friend and neighbor in Fair Haven was Pam Young (second from right), who passed away in July of 2020 … Everyone can relate. Go back with us. Remember your first day of school and that first friend …

Knock-kneed, nervous and all dressed up with somewhere to go, this gaggle Fair Haven neighborhood girls of 1965 lined up so their moms could get that classic first-day-of-kindergarten shot. And there wasn’t a smile among them.

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Retro Fair Sweets Queens

Millie Felsmann making cotton candy at the Fair Haven Firemen's Fair circa early 1990s Photo/Elaine Van Develde
Millie Felsmann making cotton candy at the Fair Haven Firemen’s Fair circa early 1990s
Photo/Elaine Van Develde
Millie Felsmann and her candy apples back in the 1960s Photo/courtesy of Monica Felsmann
Millie Felsmann and her candy apples back in the 1960s
Photo/courtesy of Monica Felsmann

This Retro Pic(s) of the Day story was originally published on Aug. 25, 2015. It is being run again in honor of the Fair Haven Firemen’s Fair and the Felsmann family to honor them in light of their recent loss of Millie Felsmann’s son, John, or “Smokey,” husband to Trudy and dad to his fair-raised children. He didn’t like getting his picture taken, so we will respect that and honor him via his family. This is how they concoct and serve up those sweets at the fair … 

When it came to cotton candy — that fluffy spun light blue and pink sugar on a cone that melts in your mouth, on your mouth and many times on your hands, too — Millie Felsmann was the pro at the Fair Haven Firemen’s Fair.

Don’t get us wrong, here. We know that Millie also commandeered the candy apple making. Yes, Candy Bennett was there, too — for many hours a day, making and selling those candy apples, apropos name and all.

Well, she was, after all, Candy, the candy apple lady. Yes, Candy had a lot do do with those candy apples — but Millie was the boss. She, along with her troupe of kids and Candy, Betty Acker and Mrs. Frank, started work on those apples as early as 6 a.m.. And, even further back, to 1965 or 66, Mrs. Topfer made those apples, too.

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Retro Fair Grab Bagging Balloon Lady & Buds

Sally Van Develde selling balloons at the Fair Haven Firemen's Fair Grab Bag Booth
Sally Van Develde selling balloons at the Fair Haven Firemen’s Fair Grab Bag Booth
Photo/FHFD

For decades there was what was referred to as The Grab Bag Booth at the Fair Haven Firemen’s Fair. The booth was there for kids to get consolation prizes, featuring, of course, real brown paper grab bags full of goodies, that parents could buy if they didn’t win at the wheel games of chance. And there were balloons … and some fair ladies to keep the fair goodness going strong.

The Grab Bag Booth is now gone from the midway. At one point, for many years, my mom, Sally Van Develde was the chairwoman of the booth. This piece is an annual reprise to honor the booth’s goodness, the Fair Haven Firemen’s Fair and those things that never disappear like helium balloons into the dark sky … Memories of a special lady — my mom.

Growing up in Fair Haven with parents in the fire company, Fair Haven Firemen’s Fair time meant time spent inflating punch balls during the day and helium balloons at night.

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Remembering, Embracing Her Light: 1982 RFH Grad Terri Rowett, 57

My little sister Terri was a light. Sometimes she burned bright and brilliant; other times she merely sparkled … As she traveled, explored, and embraced her worlds, Terri connected with people for a moment or a lifetime; once she made a connection, she cherished it. My heart is broken. I will miss her desperately. ~ Chris Rowett Peter

A light. Always glistening. Shining. Lighting the way to welcome every connection in her universe. Wrapping each in a tight hug of warm, ferocious illumination.

That’s how Rumson-raised Teresa Ann Rowett, better known as Terri or TT, was seen. The youngest of five sisters and one brother, the third sister to pass away, the Rumson-Fair Haven Regional High School Class of 1982 graduate died suddenly at Shore Point Health in Port Charlotte, on Aug. 22. She was 57. Her life was celebrated on Sunday.

This is how she is remembered …

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Focus: Sea Bright Coolness Tide Ride

It’s all about letting the sun and surf shine, and scorch a little, these summer days. And there’s nothing better to take the heat off while soaking the goodness of it all up than a cool ride with the tide along a Sea Bright beach.

The scene is a reminder that the boon of the ocean’s refreshing roar is a mainstay respite, a bigger and brighter beacon that overshadows any sliver of scald.

A bit of relief has come from the sun, and the beach always beckons with cooler days of comfort ahead.

In other words, the heat wave has lifted. Phew. Better days under the sun are ahead. Take in the view, feel the relief and check out the weather forecast, from the National Weather Service, below …

Sun and surf up!

The weather forecast for the Rumson-Fair Haven area through the weekend from the National Weather Service …

Remembering Fair Haven’s Jim Butler: The Light Weight in Community Family Matters

Call it luck for some that the smallest of moments carry a ton of weight that embodies a world of light — community light.

Let me tell you about it, with a light heart full of gratitude … The last time I saw forever Fair Havenite and fireman Jim Butler was at his near lifelong friend’s funeral. That was last May.

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Focus: Balmy, Palmy Sea Bright Surf & Skyline

There’s nothing quite like seeing the New York skyline as if it’s in the palm of your Sea Bright beach.

And it is, even though the palm trees aren’t indigenous to Sea Bright by a long shot — and a lot longer than the distance to that skyline. But, whatever works to bring the Sea Bright locals’ scene into perspective.

What works is taking the time to take in the view of what’s surrounding you on a summer’s day. It’s what’s home to and in the heart of those in the Rumson-Fair Haven area every day. From the sand to the surf to the palms to the skyline, there’s always something new in the view — something to savor. Something to make you exhale, knowing that you’re home.

Take it all in. Find the subtle differences in perspective. Find the little things. See what matters in the big picture. Exhale the comfort of home.

Enjoy the view, click to enlarge one photo and scroll for the full picture. Find those little things and find out what’s in store this weekend and into next week with the area weather, courtesy of the National Weather Service …

— Photos/Elaine Van Develde exclusively for R-FH Retro

Retro RFH Graduation: The Daisy Chain Girl

RFH 1978 graduation in front of the high school, replete with daisy chain
Photo/Daryl Cooper Ley

The following was originally posted in May of 2017. It is being re-run in honor of graduation, time honored traditions past and this RFH Daisy Chain girl of ’78, who passed away in February of 2018 — Daryl Cooper Ley.

In high school social circles, it was considered a popularity status symbol to be chosen for the chain. Daryl wasn’t all too thrilled about it at the time. It had confirmed what her closest friends knew. That she was cool. It was often repeated to her. “I didn’t think so,” was always her answer. Sorry, Dar. We win. Got the last word. You were. RIP, Dar. You are remembered … in our hearts, souls and print, like it or not! Love you forever more. Oh, she would kill me

It was considered a privilege and honor. They were chosen from the junior class at RFH to serve as the debutante-like ushers for the graduating class. All dressed in white and supposedly gracefully toting a chain of daisies, the Daisy Chain girls were a fixture of high school finery at graduations in the 1970s.

The origins of the somewhat upper-crust tradition date back to the 1900s, but this Retro Pic of the Day was snapped in 1978.

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