Oh, Holy … Crap, Santa!

Santa trauma with the Winnie twins 2021
Photo/courtesy of Jessica Masi via Magical Encounters, Freehold

Yes. ‘Tis the season. And in the true spirit of the season, we know there’s one on every Santa lap — that “scared o’ him” miserable child.

We asked and we got … a doozy. An example of seasonal “Oh, holy … crap of an experience.” In this case, Santa joined in the misery while loving the company of poor little Bryson Winnie of Aberdeen. Now, that’s a new one — Santa getting in on the trauma reality show. It’s a classic, too.

The set of three-year-old twins, Jackson and Bryson, seem to be beckoning, like a siren and slayer, to the Ghost of Christmas Present, “Come to me. Go awayyyyy!”

Oh, the horror. Oh, the pain. Ohhhhhh, the laugh we demented adults are getting out of this. That’s OK. We’re in good company. The twins’ mom, Jessica Masi, told R-FH Retro that the family turned the freeze frame moment into their 2021 Christmas card and captioned it, “Dear Santa, Exactly how ‘good’ are we talking?”

Very good in our eyes. These guys are red carpet Christmas classic material, and proof that twins aren’t always alike.

To one of these guys, Santa and those spirits out there that he’s beckoning, are awe inspiring, captivating … downright trance-inducing. To the other, that big guy in the fashion backward red suit with the big bellowing, terrifying “Ho, ho, hooooo!” is a big “Ho, nooooo!”

Someone, please save him from the gloved clutches of this bearded belly full of misery! Mommy?

Well, Jackson and Bryson, we hope you get everything you want for Christmas … all of it away from that Santa terror train.

One day, you’ll show this to your kids and laugh. We sure hope.

Happy holidays to the twins, their mom and all those other Santa traumatized. Send us your pics, though, at evd@rfhretro.com! Ho, ho, ha!

John Caroli
BCS Wealth Management