By Elaine Van Develde

It’s that all-too familiar tech nightmare. You’re in the middle of a major project for work. You’re on a deadline. You’re engrossed. Your fingers are typing into a nubby frenzy. Oops.

The computer politely tells you that you need to update the operating system to install a program that you need to get those finishing touches done just right. OK. You click “Continue” and POOF! Everything goes black. Wait. There’s a gray tinge on the screen. A little message pops up and tells you to restart the computer. You do as you are told. Aaaaand POOF!

Darkness again. The same message pops up. Your blood pressure starts to rise, but you don’t want to get the nice, volatile computer that holds your life’s work upset with you. It might decide to just have a tantrum zap and take it all to the grave.

So, you keep your composure, bite your lower lip, drawing blood, and restart once again. Something on the screen is spinning, and spinning … and spinning … and spinning. Nothing’s working and you can’t get out of this cycle of tech hell. You call the manufacturer’s tech hotline. The techie on the other end of the line tells you, with measured customer service speak that’s gnawing on your last raw nerve, to turn the computer off and on again. Oh, the pain. Ouuuuuch! Have you heard this before? YES!

Still, you do as you are told. Ten restarts later … Nothing is working, the clock is ticking and you can’t even retrieve your saved work take elsewhere. You are stuck in a tech torture Twilight Zone! It’s 10 p.m. and the techie tells you to go to a geek squad at a store in a crowded mall with long lines at least 10 miles away and, oh, it’s closed!

Even if it were open and you went, you’d likely be told that the computer needed to be shipped away and you needed a new one. ARGH! You’re so irritated and frustrated that you throw your phone across the room, screaming what seems like a slow motion “Nooooooooooooooo!” And, well, that smashes to bits, too. Now you have double the tech trouble, a migraine and lost work.

Desperation has set in. But there is a way out of this seemingly unbreakable cycle of “Turn the computer on and off” for hours and “Oh, well, there’s nothing we can do” diatribe. Your tech world has flat-lined and you’re being told to get to the undertaker so he can shut the lid on the laptop coffin. But, there is still a pulse. So, instead of taking that long trek to the electronics funeral home at the mall, first thing in the morning you head over to Two River Computer in Fair Haven.

Why? Because, the techies there are in the resuscitation business. They don’t believe in closing the lid, shipping a piece of equipment you need far, far away or telling you to turn it off and on 50 times to no avail. In fact, seeing too many people trapped in that tech nightmare to nowhere is exactly why Fair Havenite Tom Bull started the business.

Having spent 25 years steeped in such customer nightmares — 15 of those years in traditional information technology (IT) venues with what he dubbed “the big guys” with small solution capability — Bull saw this need in the industry not being met and decided to do something about it.

And he has — for nearly 10 years now. Since 2006, the techie, who is a self-described “tech handyman” and his crew of Apple-certified on-site and roving technicians — who can fix any Apple product (iMacs, MacBooks, iPhones and iPads) and any other kind of laptop or desktop running Windows or other operating systems — have been in the business of actually fixing your electronics when they break.

And, Bull says he prides himself on a “no job too small” motto. He has other fix-it belief systems, but “I like the small jobs. I want the small jobs,” he said. Two River will come to you, but you can also walk into the shop at 120 Fair Haven Road, where the old firehouse sat in the very early Fair Haven days.

There’s no major highway trekking gridlock to deal with in getting there, Bull noted, mentioning that the easy accessibility to the service is another draw for many. That, and the major perk of these techies providing a solution to the problem. The location is something that Bull said is an extra treat. The shop is cozily tucked into Fair Haven’s old town business district.

“Here we are in this small town … there’s high tech service amidst the cobblestone and quaintness of it all,” Bull said. “We’re tech handymen and that’s what we want to be. In addition to the accessibility, we offer a quick response time, knowing full well how people feel lost without their technology, and we have practical experience and offer attention to detail.”

Patience and assurance, and fairness in price are other qualities Two River Computer boasts in its business practice.

There’s a logical reason for that, Bull said. “Another motto of mine is that you don’t, well, ‘dirty’ where you eat,” he said. “We do good work, because we want to do work for you again. And our prices are very reasonable.”

Speaking of small jobs, not to mention those you’ve always been told can’t be done. These are the guys who just say yes, it can be done, and follow that up with telling you how long it will take. Simple. Those annoying cracked phone screens? Those are the little annoyances that can turn into a big problem. Problem solved. Two River can replace them.

Bull said that the unheard-of bringing back to life of a usually DOA wet phone is he and his crew just recently mastered, too. “Hey, if your contract isn’t up and you don’t want to buy a new phone at full price, this fix is worth it,” he said. “More importantly, it’s just another fix people usually get told cannot happen.”

Oh, and if you’re worried about old, discarded hard drives that contain vital personal information, don’t, Bull said. “If there’s any semblance of information that can be gathered from a hard drive, we will give it back to you to keep and store until, perhaps, you’re headed to the nursing home and in the final days of your life. And, even then, it should go with you. If they’re not worth keeping, they need to be destroyed properly. You can’t melt them. You can’t throw them in the river. We drill holes in them. That’s the only way to destroy them properly. We take care of that so that there’s no added worry.”

And, it’s not just computer, phone and iPad repairs Two River Computer techies deal with. They can wire/integrate home and office wifi networks including televisions, sound systems, video cameras and more. Old equipment is no problem, either.

Two River Computer has a simple philosophy: “Provide a service people need, price it fairly and deliver on your promises,” Bull said.

There’s also a fitting seasonal demand that Bull said Two River Computer has met and can and will continue to meet. “So many people buy electronics for Christmas for junior and want to put it under the tree wrapped and all ready to use,” he said. “Frequently, people forget that these things need to be set up to be ready for use upon unwrapping. We can do that. And, if we can’t get to you before (since there are only a few days ’til Christmas now), we can get to you shortly after.”

With Two River Computer, Bull says it’s alright to exhale over any nagging tech problem that has you holding your breath. The tech nightmare is over. The boogeyman with no answers is gone.

Give Two River a call if you need help, Bull said. “You break, we fix,” as the company slogan says.

Call 732-747-0020, check out the website at www.tworivercomputer.com or visit the company’s Facebook page by clicking here.