In Memoriam: Longtime Rumson and Fair Haven Resident, Jay Darby, 87

Longtime Rumson and Fair Haven resident James Joseph “Jay” Darby passed away on Saturday, Nov. 8, at home surrounded by his family. He was 87.

Jay was born and raised in Jersey City to Madeline (Sheridan) and James E. Darby. He attended Oratory Preparatory School and went on to study at the University of Dayton in Ohio.

Jay spent summers “down the shore” in Highlands with his family, and later with his friends where he met his future wife, Mary Jane, whom he married in 1964. They were blessed with four children: Mary Jane, Beth Ann, Jimmy, and Susan.

After living in the Bronx, NY and summering down the Jersey Shore early on in their marriage, they decided to move the family to Rumson in 1974 and then to the “Fairest of All Havens” in 1986.

“Jay led an incredibly full life. He leaves an enduring legacy of character, integrity, and humility …

“After his wife, Mary Jane, lost her valiant battle with cancer in 1996 at age 55, Jay moved to New York City and immersed himself in the vibrant energy and culture. He loved the arts — plays, musicals, big bands, cabarets — and frequently was seen on Thursday nights attending the students’ recitals at Juilliard. He was regularly seen riding his bicycle all around Manhattan, dressed in his signature attire, a white bucket hat and aviator sunglasses.

“An avid traveler, Jay trekked all across Europe. Most notably, he undertook a pilgrimage on foot through both France and Spain, where he walked the Camino de Santiago — 500 miles in 32 days. Pop, so named by his eldest granddaughter, Darby, loved a good road trip, whether it was driving down to Florida to Disney World with his wife, Mary Jane, and the four children in their station wagon, the Art Barge in Amagansett, NY, or, when he was young, making the trip across country to Hollywood.

“Pop loved Monmouth Park Racetrack and spent countless days there during the summers and many a birthday in the winner’s circle with his family. He visited racetracks all across the country and beyond — Saratoga, Santa Anita, Del Mar, Churchill Downs and The Curragh in Ireland to name a few.

“Jay later shared more than 20 years with his devoted companion, Kathy Breslin. The pair enjoyed days on the golf course, attending Broadway shows and musicals with friends, and traveling around the world together — from a luxury cruise on the Queen Mary 2, to cozy campgrounds (Kathy was a trooper). The grandchildren were blessed and thankful to have Pop and Kathy present at every major milestone in their lives.

“Pop had a long and happy life and we were blessed to have him for so many years. We will miss him dearly, and he will be forever loved.”
Loved ones of Jay Darby in his obituary

After working for many years in Manhattan for White, Weld & Co., Jay started his own business, J.J. Darby & Co., Inc., in the late ’70s. He served as a trusted financial advisor to many municipalities, including school districts, townships, counties and authorities over his 60 plus-year career. He was particularly proud of helping Middlesex County attain a Triple A rating from Moody’s Investors Service.

Owning his own business gave him the freedom to focus on what was most important to him — family. He cherished the opportunity to cheer on his children and grandchildren, Darby, Avery, PJ, and Ryan, in all of their various endeavors. This included Darby and Avery’s equestrian competitions and tennis matches, PJ’s lacrosse games and rugby matches, and Ryan’s ice hockey games and musical events.

Jay was a man of strong faith and a communicant of The Church of the Nativity in Fair Haven.

Jay was predeceased by: his parents; his cherished wife, Mary Jane Darby, in 1996; and his beloved brother, Edward Darby, in 2021.

He is survived by: his children; Mary Jane (Mimi) Todt and husband, Don, of Annandale, Beth Ann Albanese and husband, Chris, of Rumson, James J. Darby, Jr. and wife, Cycilia, of Holmdel and Susan Rawlins and husband, Pete, of Fair Haven; his four adoring grandchildren, Darby and Avery Albanese, and PJ and Ryan Rawlins; his loving companion, Kathleen Breslin; and many nieces, nephews and cousins.

A visitation will be held at the John E. Day Funeral Home, 85 Riverside Avenue, Red Bank, NJ on Sunday, Nov. 23, from 1 to 4 p.m. A funeral mass will be held at The Church of the Nativity, 180 Ridge Road, Fair Haven, NJ on Monday, Nov. 24, at 10 a.m.. Interment will follow at Fair View Cemetery, Route 35 and Oak Hill Road, Middletown.

In lieu of flowers, donations may be made in Jay’s memory to Old Friends Equine (www.oldfriendsequine.org).