Category Archives: Obituaries

Obituaries, Opinion

Remembering Some R-FH Area People

By Elaine Van Develde

It seemed to happen an awful lot in 2014  — the death of people whose faces and lives we’ve grown accustomed to being woven into the fabric of Rumson-Fair Haven area life.

There were times it seemed that the fine people manning the Fair Haven Firehouse marquee couldn’t even keep up. It’s the place in the area where the news of loss is often spread.

In 2014 it seemed that there were all too frequent tiny gasps and self-mutterings of “Oh, no!” as a ride by the firehouse revealed yet another passing. It all seemed to echo as yet another familiar face flashed and a memory was evoked.

We said it in the memorial tribute to Mimi Hughes. We, at Rumson-Fair Haven Retrospect,  are dedicated to remembering those who have passed.

Why? Because, as the line in the Rogers and Hammerstein musical Carousel put it, “As long as one person on Earth remembers you, it’s not over.”

Well, it’s not over for them or us. These people, in one way or another, contributed to life in the area and were part of our lives.

We honor them with a photo and a token of remembrance.

Take the journey with us …

George Giffin, 85, longtime RFH science teacher and dance instructor extraordinaire, May 15

This true area icon could get Attila the Hun to crack a smile.

The man, known for his true appreciation of dance, would pretty much break into a routine wherever he was.

This editor ran into him a couple of times in the recent past — at the Fair Haven centennial and Fairwinds Deli in Fair Haven.

He never forgot a face, either. He knew who I was from 30-something years past in high school when he taught me ballroom dance and I was abysmal.

I asked him then what advice he had for the many teens he taught to dance. He told me he still made appearances at RFH grads’ and their kids’ weddings to get them through the festivities with his special blend of dance instruction.

His motto, he said at the time: “When you get that beat, you gotta move your feet.”

Keep dancing, Mr. Giffin, and rest in peace when and if you take a break.

Pat Topfer, 77, Fair Haven, Oct. 26

Pat, also known in the past as Mrs. Cook, was a 52-year resident of Fair Haven and an 50-year Fair Haven Fire Department Ladies’ Auxiliary member.

She always had a great smile and zest for life. Her daughters, all RFH grads, inherited her beautiful face and smile.

She shared many a crumb cake and cup of coffee with this editor’s mom. Many years past my teens, she saw me at Marine Park in Red Bank. I was pregnant with my son. She gushed with joy and support and insisted upon snapping a picture of my friend and me. She made sure she got it to me. I still have it — that any many good memories of her friendly demeanor and smile.

Last I saw Pat, she was at the Fair Haven centennial celebration, gussied up in festive red, white and blue sparkles for the occasion.

She was more than happy to pose for my photo of her as a longtime, proud Fair Havenite.

Rest in Peace, Pat.

Lois Brett, formerly of Fair Haven, longtime teacher, Oct. 29

Lois Brett was a teacher in the Fair Haven School District for many years.

The daughter of Lester and Esther England, she graduated from Rumson-Fair Haven Regional High School. “She refused to limit her teaching to the classroom, but rather passed on her knowledge, wisdom, and joy of life, learning, love, and knitting to all those she knew however briefly,” according to her obituary.

Mrs. Brett was a friend of my mom’s. She was known for her kind nature and knack for making those Christmas cookies. There was nary a Christmas in our house without some of Lois Brett’s cookies.

Rest in peace, Lois Brett.

Mary Welling Hunnewell, 54, RFH graduate, Class of 1978, Oct. 17

Mary was a gymnast, equestrian, skier,  and just all-around  nice girl.

She grew up in Fair Haven and graduated from RFH. She had a soft voice, tiny stature and gentle demeanor.

As high school friend Devon Martin put it, “We shared many great times between Gillespie and DeNormandie…on my dad’s little sunfish…having to be rescued! Through middle school and high school. Gymnastics. She was a sweet, kind, generous and beautiful person. I am glad to have been her friend. She will truly be missed on this earth.”

Rest in peace, Mary.

Nina DeSesa, 88, formerly of Fair Haven, Nov. 23

Nina and her husband Michael raised their family, children Blaise and Stephanie, in Fair Haven.

Both were Rumson-Fair Haven Regional High School graduates. Stephanie died unexpectedly in 2011 at 50. In the interest of full disclosure, she was this editor’s best friend.

Nina, known lovingly as “the bull” to friends, was a force to be reckoned with when it came to her family and convictions. She was also pretty darn funny and astute.

She loved the opera, her husband and children more than anything in life.

Many saw Nina as quite a stern character, nonetheless fabulous cook, with a mission to play Bridge and MaJong. But, she was much more than that.

She had a great heart. This is my chance to say thank you to a woman who, though many times criticized me mercilessly, was always there for her daughter and me — front and center at both my parents’ funerals.

I have a few things to say to Nina:

Thank you for that artichoke pie, the best baby shower ever, the beautiful blanket you knitted for Cole, all the fabulous dinners and trips into the city to cool out-of-the-way restaurants, the scoldings, that Gilbert O’Sullivan sweater you knitted for Steph (that we fought over).

And, most of all, thank you, Nina, for moving to Fair Haven in 1967 and bringing Steph into my life. I hope you are together again. Oh, and … Step away from the stuffed stork!

Rest in peace, Nina DeSesa.

Silvio Fabbri, 59, owner of Fair Haven’s Umberto’s and friend to many, Nov. 26

This icon, known for his incredible memory and own brand of love for each and every one of his customers, could be seen tossing pizza dough, chatting with the kids, chiding them with a wink, and telling people to “hanga loose.”

Fabbri died very suddenly; and his death saddened a community very accustomed to hearing his anecdotes and knowing that he knew who they were, what was going on in their lives and what they liked to eat.

It could be months that Silvio didn’t see you, yet he’d remember everything about you when you walked in the door.

I got yelled at for not coming around enough, but he remembered my favorite special sub.

Rest in peace, Silvio, and “hanga loose.”

Fair Haven Councilman Jerome Koch, 63, Nov. 30

Jerome Koch died as the result of a tragic Nov. 29 bicycle accident on River Road in Fair Haven.

Koch was known for his sardonic wit and keen sense of humor while sitting on the dais of the Fair Haven Borough Council for nine years.

On Nov. 29, the councilman took what was described by Mayor Ben Lucarelli as his characteristic bike ride around town. The mayor, an avid cyclist, was out for a ride that day as well. He said that when he had passed Koch, he was doing his customary scouting for errant garbage and tidying up.

Not much longer after that, the councilman was hit by a car not too far from his home on River Road and flown to Jersey Shore Medical Center Trauma Unit. He remained in the hospital’s intensive care unit and, sadly, died the next day.

Rest in peace, Councilman Koch.

Mimi Hughes, 83,  Rumson resident and 26-year RFH English teacher

Mimi Hughes, who taught English at RFH for 26 years and acted and sang in many a production in the area, died on Dec. 20 surrounded by her loving family.

This is a tough one for this editor. Mrs. Hughes and her family were like family.

Take a look at our tribute to Mrs. Hughes by clicking here.

John Kondrup, 93, 67-year Rumson resident, Rumson First Aid, Oceanic Fire Company and borough mechanic, Sept. 18

A World War II U.S. Army vet, Kondrup made Rumson his home  for 67 years.

In addition to all of his volunteer service to Rumson, he was known for his bright smile, bike riding around town, and his prideful vegetable gardening.

Rest in peace, John.

Craig Bahrs, 45, deputy police chief in Middletown, K-9 officer, Dec. 1

Craig Bahrs did not live in Rumson or Fair Haven. He, however, was well known and respected in his role as a policeman and K-9 officer in Middletown.

He had a sincere smile and gentle demeanor.

Click here for our tribute to him. 

Rest in peace, Craig.

If there’s anyone we have somehow forgotten, please feel free to send us a message and photo at [email protected].

 

 

 

 

 

Obituaries, Opinion

Remembrance: Memories and Connections Inspired by RFH Teacher Mimi Hughes

By Elaine Van Develde

“As long as there’s one person on Earth who remembers you, it isn’t over …”

It’s a line from the Rogers and Hammerstein musical Carousel that actor Mandy Patinkin recently recited on 60 Minutes to describe his faithful nightly ritual. Every single night, he remembers those in his life who have passed by naming them and reflecting on something memorable about them.

I believe, like Patinkin, that there’s an awful lot of truth to the words from the play. And I believe that we all need to pay attention to people who pass through our lives for one reason or another, perhaps altering our paths, and remember. Just remember.

All too often I hear from people, “I don’t remember.” Why not? If you care to remember, you will remember.

I care to remember. And I think that 26-year RFH English teacher, singer and actress, wife, mom and grandmother Mimi Hughes cared to remember. I think that, because when you remember people who passed through your life and passed the smallest to the most monumental elements of life onto you, you pass those things onto other people … and the cycle goes on.

You can see that she did this with her own family as well as with the many whose lives she touched in her own life’s journey.

I suppose I just can’t think of a more appropriate way to remember Mimi Hughes than through such words spoken in a musical, of all things. Words and music are much of what she was all about — what she left to me and many others.

And I suppose that she probably had no idea how she affected such a pivotal point in my life and likely many others’ in a similar way. That’s probably because being kind and generous of heart and talent just came so naturally to her — and with such grace.

But, I remember.  She is remembered, from that opening act to curtain call, and then some.

Act I …

I remember that first day at RFH, heading to Mrs. Hughes’ English class. I remember seeing this teacher carrying a load of books down the hall and wondering if that was her — my teacher. You could tell that pile was pretty heavy, but she just seemed to float right through the hall with it.

I actually don’t know why I remember this one thing, but I do — the books were always carried in front of her, not slung on the hip or in a bag. Though, she did have a bag.

I remember thinking what a towering presence she had and that she seemed to exude an extraordinary elegance. Then this lady rounded the corner of the classroom to which I was assigned. Yes, she was my teacher. And I thought she was just so cool.

As she unloaded the books on her desk, I also remember thinking that she was just so beautiful and intelligent looking — piercing, focused, but friendly blue eyes; and thick, dark hair with flecks of grey. Sometimes her readers were perched on the tip of her nose, always with the chain attached. And I’m pretty sure she was wearing a strand of pearls around her neck.

She had the looks of a classic movie actress with that intellectual writer’s bent.

She introduced herself and very neatly scrolled her name on the chalkboard. I can still hear her voice — eloquent, with a delicate, deliberately cultured cadence.

From that point on, Mimi Hughes had become a part of my life.

I always wanted to do well in her class, because she was just so kind and encouraging. I never wanted to disappoint her. That sort of unwaveringly kind encouragement blended with the most succinct, somehow soothing, honesty was her special blend of motivation for success. She never seemed to discourage. I remember that.

I remember even taking my English homework to rehearsals for a, nonetheless, community theater production of Carousel. 

I just had to impress her with my diligence, non-judgmental as she was.

Act II …

It wasn’t long after that when I discovered that Mrs. Hughes and her family were  involved in theater, too. I was doing shows at The Barn Theater and helping out with ushering and running the concession stand; and there they were.

I remember hearing her soprano voice in many a show. OK, so I don’t remember exactly which ones. But I do remember that voice and seeing her on that strange stage — more like bleachers surrounding a bare spot with lights and scenery, which was fabulous.

By the time I was a junior in high school the Hugheses and I were friends. We had done shows together. We were a theater family of sorts.

And that, in an uncanny way, carried onto the stage.

Mark played my husband, the mayor, in Bye Bye Birdie. Poor guy. All I did was scream and faint and he repeatedly scooped me up, bellowing, in his very old-sounding high school voice, “Edna!”

We were all in Fiddler on the Roof together. Nan, with her superb singing talent, played my daughter. Paul was Perchik. Mark was in the chorus, and, I think, Patrick was probably doing a show at The Barn. But that was a stage that was just right down the street. He was the youngest and not yet in high school then.

I was referred to as “big sis” and I was thrilled with the inclusion in the Hughes family.

And there were many more moments on and off stage.

Mimi Hughes and her family continued to figure quite prominently in what, to me, was a very special, sentimental senior year at RFH.

And I remember. Vividly.

We hung out together, popped over to the Hughes house across the street in between rehearsals, where Mimi always welcomed us. We sang around the piano at cast parties and, yes, thought we had hit some criminal pinnacle as we painted that infamous bridge senior year.

There was even one trek, in particular, that I recall with particular fondness, into New York City. Mrs. Hughes drove and we all sang in the back of their Mercedes station wagon. We were on a jaunt to dinner at Asti, that true showfolk restaurant where opera was sung throughout the meal and diners were sometimes invited to join in.

They grabbed Nan from the table, dressed her in some sort of hooded shroud and she appeared minutes later as part of a makeshift chorus.

Oh, and the ride home … Yes, the singing continued, but so did that game of transposing license initials into some sort of title, name or bizarre sentence.

I remember seeing Mrs. Hughes’ hair and grasp on the wheel from the back seat as she gently reminded us and Mr. Hughes, who was also playing, to keep it all wholesome.

Nan even came to see me at college when she was getting set to graduate from RFH.

Curtain …

The connection with the Hughes family has remained. I remember; and am grateful. Just last year I met up with Paul, whose son was in an RFH show, and Patrick.

There were so many moments. So many that made milestones in my life much more meaningful because of my connection to Mimi Hughes and her family.

I do remember. I remember that by the time I graduated from high school, I had decided that I wanted to not only act, but write as well.

I thought it was a  pretty cool combination, and Mrs. Hughes, to me, embodied the idea that I could do both in one way or another and be all that much more enriched to pay forward a love of family, theater and life and write about all of it and more.

Mimi Hughes’ memory, like the memory of so many we should remember, is a lesson.

That lesson is echoed in the song Try to Remember from the Fantasticks.

“Try to remember … and if you remember, then follow …”

Yes, follow.

Rest in peace, Mrs. Hughes. Thank you for bringing your family into my life and enriching it all the more. Though I think your son Paul remembers my mom more for having “tremendous milk” from the Acme (just as important, as it made my mom laugh for years), you are remembered. Your show isn’t over.

 

Local Life, Obituaries

Looking Back at a Special RFH Teacher, Friend

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Mimi Hughes as pictured in the 1978 Rumson-Fair Haven Regional High School yearbook.

By Elaine Van Develde

It is with great sadness, yet gratitude for a treasure trove of great memories, that I dedicate our Retro Pic of the Day to the memory of longtime Rumson resident and former RFH English teacher Mimi Hughes, who passed away Saturday morning.

Mrs. Hughes is remembered as an exquisitely gentille, intelligent, strong and compassionate woman. While many knew her from her many years as an RFH teacher, she is also fondly recalled as a singer, actress, friend, wife, mom to RFH grads Mark, Paul, Nan and Patrick and beloved grandmother to her grandchildren.

“She had time to say goodbye to all of us, and she did it with shining grace and composure,” daughter Nan said in a Facebook post. “Her last night was filled with love, Christmas carols and family. Mimi was even singing along with her grandchildren … And as always, she has been a role model, showing us the best way to do this.”

There will be a memorial gathering 10 a.m. on Tuesday, followed by an 11 a.m. Mass at Nativity Church, Fair Haven.

With our Retro Pic of the Day, we ask that you take a moment to remember Mimi Hughes.

Rumson-Fair Haven Retrospect will be publishing an opinion piece on Monday in honor of Mrs. Hughes.

Obituaries, Opinion

Sad Farewell to Middletown Deputy Police Chief Craig Bahrs

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By Elaine Van Develde

It was 14 years ago that I had the pleasure of being introduced to Craig Bahrs, a young narcotics police officer in Middletown who had just been paired with the department’s newest addition, K-9 Officer Jack, a blonde German shepherd with brown patches.

Chief John Pollinger brought me out to Bahrs’ K-9 vehicle that was just pulling up. I looked up on that sunny day and saw a bright smile emanating from the driver’s seat and a beautiful dog with the same demeanor. I got a respectful handshake and a smile from the young officer and a couple of generous licks and a paw from Jack.

In fact, the chief joked that Jack had such a friendly disposition, they were more afraid he’d lick suspects to death than attack — lest we forget that the two were quite serious about their jobs and quite good at them.

I conducted the interview and then we spent some time chatting, playing with Jack and then trying to get him to pose his handsome self for photos, each of us dangling treats and toys above him so that he’d perk up his ears and look his best.

It was the kind of assignment that makes a reporter’s day — and ends up making them love their career.

It didn’t take long to see that both the officer and his K-9 partner were not only among the finest of the boys in blue, but that this was the start of lasting, good a reporter-police relationship.

And it was. I was at Jack’s swearing-in. Yes, it was part of my job, but yet another good part.

And in covering Middletown for many years, I did many a story on Jack and Craig’s drug busts. Through the years, I was always happy to run into the two when I had to stop at the police station or town hall for one thing or another.

I came to know Craig better over the years as a reporter. He was a true gentleman and the kind of police officer anyone, much less a reporter, would hope to be the one answering their calls for help.

As often happens when reporters and officers are reassigned, you fall out of touch at times.

After a few years of no longer being assigned to covering Middletown and moving to other newspapers, I ended up being hired as editor of the Middletown Patch.

As one of my first responsibilities, I made the usual trek back to the police station to let everyone know I was back and where they could find me if there was news.

I went into the chief’s office to say hello to the longtime secretary there and another officer I had come to know well and respect over the years.

His office was next to Craig’s, which was empty that day. The door was open and I could see that story I had done all those years ago hanging on the wall. Not realizing how much time had passed, I asked how K-9 Jack was.

That was when I heard news that I didn’t want to hear on this happy reunion day. Jack had passed away and Craig was out of the office ill and battling cancer.

I saw Craig again a few times. He looked great and said he was feeling good. His smile never changed. You could always see and recognize it from a mile away. On the 10th anniversary of 9/11 was the last time I saw that smile. It was peering out from under his dress uniform hat, warming a sullen occasion with sincerity.

That smile and that one story 14 years ago had made my day. And, since then, the memory of that one person, whom I had the honor and pleasure of passing through my life, made it all that much better — even if for only the memory of a moment or a few.

As journalists, we see a lot of sadness and tragedy and have to write about it. We also see some amazing things. We live through and report on some rare, treasured moments. We also meet some very special people. Craig Bahrs was one of those people.

Rest easy, Craig. I am confident that there are so many more out there whose days you made better — even if only for a moment, or with one brief glance and smile.

You are remembered.

The following is a released statement from the Middletown Township Police Department:

With deep sorrow, the Middletown Township Police Department regrets to announce the passing of Deputy Chief of Police Craig A. Bahrs Jr. Badge #264.

Deputy Chief Bahrs passed away peacefully at home on Monday, Dec. 1, 2014 at the age of 45, following a courageous struggle with a lengthy illness.

Deputy Chief Bahrs was a lifelong resident of Middletown Township and a graduate of the Middletown High School North Class of 1987. He went on to earn a Bachelor’s Degree in Social Science from Widener University and a Master’s Degree in Human Resource Training and Development from Seton Hall University.

He joined the Middletown Police Department on February 1, 1996 and served with distinction and honor for more than 18 years. During his career, he served as a Patrolman, Police K-9 handler with his K-9 partner Jack, Patrol Sergeant, Patrol Lieutenant, Deputy Chief and Commander of the Uniform Services Bureau and in his final command as the Deputy Chief of Professional Standards and Training.

Deputy Chief Bahrs was recognized as Police Officer of the Year and earned numerous commendations, including the Distinguished Service Award. He was firmly committed to the pursuit of excellence in his personal and professional life. His leadership and steadfast dedication influenced many officers and left a lasting legacy with our agency.

The Middletown Township Police Department is deeply saddened by this loss and requests that anyone who wishes to join with us, is welcome to attend a memorial service to be held on Saturday, Dec. 13, 2014 at 9 a.m. at The Tower Hill First Presbyterian Church located at 255 Harding Road, in Red Bank, New Jersey, as we
gather to honor the memory of our lost brother.

Obituaries

Services Set for Fair Haven’s Councilman Koch

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By Elaine Van Develde

The times and place have been set to honor and bid farewell to Fair Haven Borough Councilman Jerome A. Koch, Jr., who died on Sunday after sustaining fatal injuries from a Saturday afternoon bicycle accident in the borough.

On Wednesday, there will be a visitation at Church of the Nativity, 180 Ridge Rd., Fair Haven, from 5 to 8 p.m., according to information on the Thompson Memorial Home website.

A Mass of Christian burial will follow on Thursday at 11 a.m. at the church.

Koch, 63, who moved to Fair Haven in 1975, served on the governing body since 2006. He was retired from the family business, Karl Koch Erecting Company and served in the U.S. Army from 1973-77, according to his biography on the borough website.

He was also the council liaison to the borough’s Department of Public Works and Fair Haven Fields Natural Area.

Councilman Koch leaves behind his wife Betsy, a teacher at Knollwood School, Kristen, Kathryn (Katie) and son-in-law Erik Thorvilson, Jerome (Jake), Kerry and granddaughter Grace, the child of Katie and Erik.

Click here for Jerome Koch’s full obituary on the Thompson Memorial Home website.

Rumson-Fair Haven Retrospect will be writing a tribute/feature story about Councilman Koch. Anyone who would like to contribute information and/or quotes is invited to contact us at [email protected]

News, Obituaries

Services for Umberto’s Silvio Set for Tuesday

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By Elaine Van Develde

The news of the sudden death of Umberto’s Silvio Fabbri on Nov. 26 was met with an outpouring of sadness.

Fair Havenites have since mourned the man they knew as a friend to the community who never forgot a face, a name or a nugget of information about pretty much everyone who walked through the pizzeria’s doors.

On Friday night, the front of Umberto’s was adorned with flowers, cards, posters, candles and all sorts of tokens of appreciation and remembrance. As tradition holds true in the borough, there was a special farewell posted on the marquee at the Fair Haven Firehouse: “Rest in Peace Silvio … Hanga Loose.”

Inside, the place was bustling with mourners paying their respects to the family as Silvio’s son Anthony flipped dough and gave out pizza for free. It was his way of honoring his father while showing appreciation for the outpouring of love.

Below is a glimpse into one piece of Fair Haven’s sad goodbye to Silvio. Click on the photos to enlarge.

The following is an edited version of Silvio Fabbri’s obituary from the Thompson Memorial Home website:

Silvio Fabbri, 59, of Shrewsbury, died Wednesday Nov. 26.

Born in Monte di Procida Italy, Silvio immigrated to the U.S. in 1976. He served in the Italian Navy on the Amerigo Vespucci, an Italian training ship.

From 1976 to 1984,  Silvio worked in various pizzerias along the Jersey Shore honing his pizza making skills. In January of 1984, Silvio began working for Umberto’s Restaurant in Fair Haven.

He and his brother Michele purchased the business in 1991 and operated it along with his family until the time of his death. Silvio married his beloved wife MaryRose (nee) Katzer in 1987.

He was a avid soccer fan continually following his favorite team Internazionale from Milan. Silvio had a knack for creating his own poetry which always put a smile on people’s faces.

He also had a unique gift of remembering peoples last names and upon entering Umberto’s, that’s how many where welcomed. He was a kind generous man who gave to all who expressed the need. A special town event or a family or friend in need, Silvio was there and did so without wanting anything in return.

He loved the many friends he had made over the years at Umberto’s, and that love was reciprocated by all. One of his great joys was teaching children the art of pizza making.

During Superstorm Sandy, Silvio and Michele remained open without electricity and using only gas to ensure that the people of Fair Haven, and surrounding towns and all emergency personnel had a hot meal when it was needed.

Silvio was known as the unofficial welcoming committee to the newcomers of Fair Haven. Many have recognized him as the first person they met after moving to town. He was a devoted husband, father, brother and uncle to dozens of nieces and nephews.

Silvio was predeceased by loving parents, Antonio and Filomena Fabbri. He is survived by his wife MaryRose; his son Anthony and future daughter-in-law, Melanie DeFranco; his brother, Michele and his wife Lucia and his devoted nephew Tony.

Visitation will be held on Tuesday from 2 to 4 and 7 to 9 p.m. at The Thompson Memorial Home, 310 Broad St., Red Bank. Mass of christian burial will be celebrated on Wednesday, 11 a.m. at The Church of The Nativity, Fair Haven. Burial will be private. Donations to Friends of Silvio, PO Box 8097, Red Bank , NJ 07701 are preferred.

Rumson-Fair Haven Retrospect will be posting a memorial tribute to Silvio.