By Elaine Van Develde

As Ben Franklin said, “In this world, nothing can be said to be certain except death and taxes.” Yet, if he lived in Fair Haven, he may have added “… and seeing Dale Connor when you hand over the check.”

Not too long ago, it was tax time in Fair Haven. And, for some, what can be a daunting trip to Borough Hall was not met this time with what they’ve come to know as a soothingly familiar face. For the first time in 38 years, Connor, whom residents have long known as the borough’s tax collector and court administrator, wasn’t there on the other side of the plexi-glassed drop-off spot.

It was the first time since she retired in May that the latest quarterly trek didn’t end with her and, perhaps, some sort of simpatico.

If you miss her, she wants you to know that she misses you, too, even though she still may see you around town.

“I miss the residents,” Connor said at her longtime Fair Haven home recently, reflecting on her retirement. “I always felt like, being a resident myself, that we could identify with one another. They knew I understood that while Fair Haven is a great place to live, sometimes times were tough, taxes were getting higher and I was dealing with the same issues. Sometimes, people, especially the seniors, would come in upset because they just couldn’t afford it (taxes) and I’d say to them, ‘I understand, I live here, too’ and I think it made them feel a little better, knowing that I knew where they were coming from.”

And where Connor came from was a Fair Haven where she went to school, raised a family and worked. Still does.

“I started working for the borough when I was 19,” she said. So, really, as she knows it, the residents were more than a big part of her life — they were an investment.

She was invested, she said, in not just doing her job, but trying make things a little better for people she encountered through the office and beyond — investing in those who she felt made her hometown the best of homes.

Acknowledging that not every hometown soul dropping off the tax check was a ray of sunshine wrapped up in a rainbow, Connor remembers loving most of it all and most of them.

“Some people would just walk in and literally throw the check at me, as if I was personally responsible for doing something awful to them,” she said. “That’s OK. I would just smile and say, ‘Thanks! Try to have a nice day!’ Then there were generations of families I got to know. I loved getting to know people’s children, grandchildren and sometimes even great-grandchildren over the years.”

Trying to make a difference in a small, pay-it-forward community way was what it was all about for Connor.

“Sometimes it was heartbreaking,” she said. “When people who had lived here for  generations lost their homes to tax sale, my heart was broken for them. One time an elderly woman called me. She was in tears, telling me how she was no longer capable of writing out a check. I went to her house and did it for her. She hugged me and thanked me so sincerely. A little thing like that — it meant so much to her and I was so happy to be able to help.

“These are people who were there for others when they were younger and able to be. It comes full circle. We need to be there for them when we can. And such a small gesture … “

Then there was another senior who Connor said could no longer write out her utility bill checks. So, she made a regular visit monthly to help her out. She’s modest about lending that hand for whatever reason or writing. She smiles when she thinks of their simple gratitude — a comfort exhale punctuated with a smile right back at her.

Fair Haven’s magic to Connor has always been in its residents, not  the value of their homes. So, she said, she invested her work heart in many of them — always.

“It was my job to collect the taxes, but, while I prided myself in doing my job well and always sticking to the rules, it was never really about those tax checks to me. It was about the people. Still is,” she said. “I miss the residents. I really miss them — their smiles. They are what make this town so special.”

So, she tried to make them feel special. Simple, to her. “A smile and a little bit of sympathy (or empathy) goes a long way,” Connor said.

And, yes, there were lots of smiles, not just out of compassion or community connections. Sometimes those smiles came with hearty laughs and some funny times, especially in her job as court administrator.

Excuses for not making a court appearance? Oh, she’s heard them all.

Some of the best:

There was the time a guy who couldn’t make a court date called out (of court) several times. “Each time he would call, he’d say a grandparent died. Finally, I said to him, ‘OK, you can’t have this many grandparents, all dying within weeks of one another. You realize I’m documenting these excuses, right? Obviously you don’t have this many grandparents, so you really need to come to court.'”

There were those with the classic excuse “that a car tire mysteriously blew on the Garden State Parkway when we knew they weren’t anywhere near there when calling in.”

Then there was the time a woman made up what Connor thought was the most horrific excuse of all. “She lied and said she couldn’t come to court because she was dying of cancer and her son had cancer, so she had to take care of her son and get medical help for herself,” Connor said. “That had to be the worst. We found out it was a total lie and she ended up getting in more trouble because she lied. How does someone lie about something as serious as that? The judge ended up issuing a warrant (for her arrest).”

And the icing, or dressing, on the court appearance cake was when a transvestite, who Connor said “dressed better than some of the women I know and had gorgeous hair” came to court and asked where the ladies’ room was to some dropped jaws.

Yes, he used the ladies’ room. And, yes, jaws dropped mostly because “he always looked so awesome,” Connor said. And when his mother assaulted a police officer in the courtroom in some misguided defense of her son, a bit of mayhem ensued in the Fair Haven courtroom.

“The police handled the situation so well,” she said. “I’m going to miss working with them. They’re all great. Those guys really care; and they do such a great job. They’re always there … with a smile.”

And so is Connor. She may be retired from her jobs with the borough, but, she reminded, she’s still in town.

She’s been invested in Fair Haven and its people for a long time, and that’s not changing with her leaving the borough office.

She’s working at the Shrewsbury Yacht Club now. Her and husband Mike are both forever Fair Haven Fire Department members. And, if you see her around town when she knows it’s tax time or a sewer bill is overdue, it’s likely she’ll remember if you’re one of those residents who relied on her for a little reminder and, maybe, a hug.

You’ll likely get both.